/=-ZérøspåÇé-=/

9th December is really a special day.
It's my 1 year anniversary with my dearest Asnida whose been by my side always despite all the ups and downs we had...
It's also my mother's birthday, i think of her always and i always pray that God helps clear her heart cos she's just feeling so negative about her life right now.
It's also the day i talked openly with my youngest sister and we shared problems and opinions about my family situation. I hope she feels better knowing that at least her own brother is there for her if she needs help.

Every good beginning needs a start, even if its a renewal from a troubled past.
I really wished i had more people i could seek support and help with, but it's probably my fault for not sharing this.

After a month of separately talking to my mom and my dad; i feel that they will not be happy together.

However I feel that as children, we have been suffering in silence for many many years. Its not a good feeling when u know you cant rely on your parents for help or emergency situations. I read my youngest sister’s blog and i feel sad for her cos thats what i have been feeling. A sense of hopelessness and no one can help.

I feel that i need to reunite my siblings and we must stick together. We have to. I love each and everyone of my family members…and i wish this didnt happen, but its bound to happen cos its between my mom and dad. And we children just had no choice cos we have no money to secure ourselves.

Yesterday marks the 10th month anniversary with me and Asnida. Every single day we spend time together...yet we still grow fonder of each other.
In actual truth, this would be the same month 1 year ago which i got to know her as a friend, and eventually met up with her one day.
I remember the day i met her. I was smsing her from work. I was still a new employee at McDelivery call centre. At the same time some female colleagues were making friends with me and invited me to join them to go out after work. To be friendly i said yes... but I told them i'm still reserving a date with Asnida.

Eventually Asnida replied and we met at Bugis where we were supposed to eat. But upon meeting she didnt want to. I was kind of dismayed cos i thought thats a sign that she doesnt quite like me, and she felt like going home or what. But then, she asked me if i wanted to watch a movie instead. So we watched 'Rec'....the foreign version of the movie'Quarantine'.
I then sent her home via cab.
At home, i kept smiling to myself.

I wanted to meet her again.
And so we did...
Till this very day

Yesterday I had a lovely date with Asnida and watched STOMP!. It was her first time in the Esplanade….She looked stunning with her blue halterneck… :P…..Unfortunately i was down with a fever and headache halfway through… Asnida took care of me on the way home. It was sweet because lately we’ve been having a few quarrels and mood swings. I guess its these tiny things that matter in the end :)

Sometimes in a relationship, you have to remember to put your own feelings aside and take care of your lover’s feelings, even if it seems that she’s not showing them to you. There might be reasons unknown, and it’s not important for you to know those reasons immediately.

What’s important is to be there for each other, and don’t let those overwhelming feelings take over your emotions. I might not show it to everyone, but my emotions are rather strong, which makes me a rather sensitive person.

Anyway, I hope my baby dear gets well soon. Sometimes its hard to understand what she goes through when she has her down moods. I wish I can be in her mind and heart when she’s feeling down, so she knows that she’s not alone.

Here I am, with Asnida sleeping soundly beside me....
The feelings that i get from beholding her are of pure peace.
Do you feel that way when you look at someone sleeping?